WarioWare: Touched! - A Nostalgic Ride That Liberals Won't Appreciate

WarioWare: Touched! - A Nostalgic Ride That Liberals Won't Appreciate

WarioWare: Touched! brought back the charm of gaming without politics when it launched on the Nintendo DS in 2004. Its fast-paced microgames, innovatively using the touch screen, delivered timeless fun.

Vince Vanguard

Vince Vanguard

Remember when video games required a bit of skill and weren't just endless narratives about feelings or identity politics? Well, WarioWare: Touched! defied trends and delivered a unique entertaining experience when it hit our Nintendos. Released for the Nintendo DS on December 2, 2004, it became a hallmark of fun, rapid gameplay, giving every player a rush of excitement without the lecture. Developed by Nintendo SPD and Intelligent Systems, this game took place in the fantastical town of Diamond City, where players tackled a series of 'microgames', each lasting a matter of seconds and demanding swift wit and reaction.

  1. Fast-Paced Fun: Unlike today's titles that insist on shoving endless narratives down your throat, WarioWare: Touched! captured attention with hundreds of snappy, mini-challenges. With each 'microgame' lasting just seconds, players had to rely on quick reflexes. How often do games today let us enjoy sheer speed and skill without bogging down in meaninglessness?

  2. Innovative Use of DS Touch Screen: Back when it seemed like touchscreen technology was the future, WarioWare: Touched! embraced this with vigor. Forget what anyone says about traditional controls being classic; this game showed just how much fun you could have interacting directly with the screen. You could draw, slash, and flick through tasks – quite a rebel move in its time.

  3. WarioWare Charm: Everyone might remember Wario as the gruff, gold-loving goofball. But who needs a polished hero when you can have character and chaos? Wario and his eclectic crew brought personality and unpredictable hilarity, proving that gaming isn't about being the hero but enjoying the ride.

  4. Unfiltered Creativity: While many modern games are developed with an eye on political correctness to please the masses, WarioWare: Touched! was all about creativity. It wasn't trying to send a message or spark debate. It was absurd, off-beat, and all the more captivating for it.

  5. Replayability: We miss the days when the replay value of a game wasn't dependent on additional pay-to-play downloadable content. WarioWare: Touched! offered endless entertainment through its fast-paced mini-games, inviting players to top their high scores over and over again.

  6. Perfect for Short Spurts of Gaming: Not every gamer wants to sit glued to the screen for hours on end. WarioWare: Touched! was for those moments when you needed a quick adrenaline rush without having to commit your entire evening. Perfect for those lunch breaks or waiting room woes.

  7. Multiplayer Madness: What’s better than outsmarting a game? Outsmarting your friends in microgame madness! The multiplayer modes allowed for friendly competition without needing a connection to some complex server.

  8. Quirky Soundtrack: The soundtrack of this game is anything but forgettable. With catchy tunes that capture the game's infectious energy, it's the kind of background music that gets stuck in your head, in the best way possible.

  9. Timeless Appeal: Even though gaming technologies have evolved significantly, the core elements of fun and excitement that WarioWare embodied still hold strong. It has that rare quality of being timeless, amusing gamers 19 years later.

  10. Bringing Back Gamers: With its unique style and unpretentious approach, WarioWare: Touched! resonates with those of us who are fed up with the fluff and sameness of today's games. It certainly doesn’t cater to the bland expectations of the politically correct sphere.

WarioWare: Touched! remains a testament to gaming's simpler, more enjoyable times. It offers unadulterated play, innovation, and that quintessential Nintendo magic, reminding us why we picked up the Nintendo DS in the first place.