10 Reasons Utah State Prison Isn't Your Typical Resort

10 Reasons Utah State Prison Isn't Your Typical Resort

10 Reasons Utah State Prison is unique and causes a stir among liberal critics. It's no five-star hotel, but rather a testament to conservative values in a wild world.

Vince Vanguard

Vince Vanguard

You might think you've seen it all when it comes to American correctional facilities, but let me introduce you to the Utah State Prison. Located in Salt Lake City since 1951, it's a place buzzing with history and controversy. Most inmates would agree that this isn't Club Med. It's a serious institution housing hardcore offenders who aren’t there to learn pottery. This prison has been the center of many debates, but here’s a list of reasons why it’s unique and utterly non-comparable to any liberal rehabilitation fantasy.

Reason One: Utah State Prison is massive! It sprawls over 700 acres, making it bigger than most shopping malls. Who needs to visit a zoo when you can glimpse the diverse human species locked away for deeds society deemed unacceptable?

Reason Two: Talk about doubling as a jobs program. The prison is the second largest employer in Draper, Utah. It’s a manufacturing hub for prison-made products like furniture and holiday wreaths. These big-business operations remind us that not all work is glamorous, but it beats sitting in a cell playing solitaire.

Reason Three: The building itself looks like a fortress. If medieval-style dungeons are your thing, you’d be impressed. Thick bars, layers of security, and double fences with razor wire make it clear you’re not leaving unless the state says so. Unlike some places that have secret passageways, Utah keeps it straightforward.

Reason Four: Controversial? Absolutely. Sit-back liberals might pull their hair out over the prison's deterrence-focused approach, built on justice and accountability over coddling or reforming criminal minds.

Reason Five: Like any good house, it has different rooms for different needs. There’s maximum security, medium security, and less restrictive dormitories for trusty inmates. They even separate the men from the women—how old-fashioned.

Reason Six: The location is prime real estate. Folks say prisons should be hidden away, but Utah's right next to highways and shiny car dealerships. Prisoners get a taste of the bustling world they aren't part of, making freedom feel much more unreachable.

Reason Seven: Utah State Prison is not without innovation. It will soon relocate to a new, state-of-the-art facility in Salt Lake City’s west side. This move won't just meet modern security needs; it promises to shake things up economically too, aiming to revitalize the area and give inmates cleaner, more efficient digs.

Reason Eight: If you love courtroom dramas, this prison’s Department of Corrections includes a hefty legal library. Some inmates become pseudo-lawyers, representing themselves in complex cases while figuring out loopholes. You can't get more American than hustling the system designed to hold you down.

Reason Nine: Let's talk discipline. Inmates here would certainly talk about the strict routines and the hefty repercussions when rules are broken. Personal freedom might be absent, but at least the rules keep everyone in check.

Reason Ten: On top of all that, the architecture’s systematic layout allows for streamlined operations. A well-oiled facility, Utah State Prison is an operational triumph, even if it doesn’t boast hospitality. Not a three-star Michelin experience but a masterclass in security.

So, whether you’re fascinated by the psychology of crime, the economics of incarceration, or simply the nuts and bolts that make these institutions run, Utah State Prison stands out. It’s a monument to the conservative ideals of order and accountability, thriving in the heart of liberal America.