Imagine trying to wrangle a group of cats into a cooperative effort, and you've got something close to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. This elected body, reigning over the City by the Bay since 1850, is the beating heart of left-leaning legislation in a city known for its affluence and homelessness—a dichotomy that seems outright comical anywhere else. Composed of 11 district-elected members, the Board tends to make headlines less for meaningful change and more for its pandering to political correctness and wild social experiments.
The ridiculous antics of this board are nothing new. Take, for example, their latest attempt to set yet another cashless society precedent, trying to ban cash within the city’s borders in favor of all-digital transactions. It's as if they've never met the listless silicon tech barons who keep their economy afloat and, ironically, payable only by card. But wait, you say! What about the 4.6% of Californians who prefer cash? Apparently, they don't rate an invite to this digital utopia.
Why stop at tech initiatives when you can politicize transportation? I mean, why fix any of your pothole-ridden roads when you can instead chase after the Utopian dream of free public transit with no fiscal backing? That's right, folks. These dreamers keep advocating for free fares on public transport, so tourists can joyride the Munis and BARTs without spending a penny extra. Meanwhile, city buses and trains keep getting derailed due to lack of maintenance. Talk about putting the cart before the horse.
If whimsical urban planning is your cup of tea, look no further than the Board's approach to housing—cue the laugh track. With sky-high rents and an ever-expanding homeless population, you'd think a serious housing policy would be in order. But no, instead the Board ties itself in aptly tangled knots trying to both enact and then retract rent controls because, lo and behold, it disincentivizes people from actually building new apartments. The board plays a game of Monopoly with real lives, all the while blaming external forces instead of taking a good, hard look in the mirror.
Safety obviously takes a backseat in this clown car of governance. Their latest act of brilliance involves tinkering with the idea of defunding the police while gun violence in the city climbs amidst nationwide turmoil. Mind you, their idea of ‘safety’ involves saying that harsher penalties have no place in the modern world—because criminals need hugs, not handcuffs, right?
But let’s not forget about that flagship policy where residents get paid to not commit crimes. Yes, you read that correctly. Why not incentivize people to just barely toe the line? It’s the kind of ingenious reversal of logic that would have Socrates rolling in his grave. What better way to promote law-abiding behavior than to reward everyone equally, lawbreakers and all? At this rate, we’ll be paying people not to run red lights next.
Then there's the famous status of San Francisco as a 'Sanctuary City'. Yay for future undocumented arrivals! Let's burden already strained public resources instead of addressing the problems at their root. It's a simple solution with a complex outcome—one that the Board loves to wave as a billboard-sized middle finger to federal authority.
Education here has also become a spectacle. Instead of investing in substantial educational commitments, the Board focuses on scrubbing the names of historical figures from schools. Forget raising the scores or better textbooks, swapping out the plaques is where the real academic improvement lies.
Wasteful spending? Check. Despite a billion-dollar budget, the San Francisco bureaucracy struggles to justify where the tax dollars go. They throw money at vanity projects while deferring necessary infrastructure updates that would actually lift the city from its perfectly curated chaos.
Finally, let’s not ignore the empty rhetoric of climate initiatives. In a city choked by air pollution, their proposed solution includes ridiculous little bans—straws and plastic bags—as if those are the biggest culprits. Anything less than full-blown renewable energy adoption is seen as sacrilegious, ignoring pragmatic solutions that could prove actually feasible.
Who needs comedy on Netflix when you’ve got the San Francisco Board of Supervisors? This illustrious body continues to roar louder than their impact. While many cities navigate their way through modern times with intelligence and pragmatism, San Francisco seems content playing jesters in the world's amphitheater.